Aspects of Loving

Differences Sometimes Demand Accommodation

Source: janeb13/Pixabay When differences resulting from limitations or preferences, wants or needs, or simply the extent of intimacy desired, present challenges to people who love each other, accommodation can be called for. Dealing with them with sensitivity and care can show love in a powerful way. To read my "Life, Refracted" post in PsychologyToday.com about this topic, click here.

September 15th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Life, Refracted, Psychology|

Responding to Silences

Source: Pexibear/Pixabay As described last week, silences can have many meanings.  In this week's post for "Life, Refracted" on PsychologyToday.com, I explored loving ways to deal with each of them.  Read more about ways to respond to a loved one's silences by clicking here.

September 8th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Life, Refracted, Psychology|

Silence Can Have Several Meanings

People can sensitively show love by accurately understanding the many meanings of silence.  Before they can respond with love (the topic for next week), they must be able to distinguish among silences that are active listening, time for reflection, avoiding creating distraction, an invitation to communion, attention being elsewhere, delaying confict, or expressing anger.  For details, please visit the latest, "52 Ways to Show I Love You: Identify the Meanings of Silence", by clicking here.

Providing Care is Such a Vivid Way to Show Love

Source: sathyatripodi/Pixabay When a person is dependent - young, old, ill, disabled - or fragile or simply in need of outside help, providing the care that they need can show through actions in a resounding way.  At one extreme, it reflects "Compassionate Love", that altruistic and selfless behavior in which someone else's needs can take precedence over our own.  To read "52 Ways to Show I Love You: Caring and Caregiving", click here.    

Expanding the Circle of Those you Love Can Make Love More Real

When we expand our couple's embrace to include those we love beyond it, we can bring more joy into our own hearts and those of others.  Doing so may have challenges but the efforts are always worthwhile. See what I wrote about "Expanding the Circle" on Life, Refracted, by clicking here.

Show Love by Considering a Different Point of View

When you take the time to listen to and consider a loved one's point of view, you show them respect and love.  Types of psychotherapy developed over the past fifty years have increasingly stressed the value of changing perspective.  But just as shifting how you think about something can enhance your own well-being, it can enhance understanding, appreciation, and intimacy in a love relationship.  To learn more, read "52 Ways to Show I Love You: See a Different Point of [...]

Remember the Magic of Having Fun

Think back to when you were a child.  Chances are that activities that brought you joy then still do.  I loved reading, biking, learning to cook and sew, playing with my dog, dressing up, learning the joy of riding a horse., visiting a museum.  These are activities that delight me decades later, most of which I can share with David.  One way we keep our love so alive is to make sure we include ways to have fun together.  To [...]

August 4th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships, Life, Refracted|Tags: , , |

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Provide Comfort

source: jill111-Pixabay As infants, we suffered distress to teach us to reach out for comfort.  We formed expectations for whether or not comfort would be provided consistently and with generosity of spirit.  Those expectations form the basic data for "Attachment theory", long ago validated in infants and documented in adults for decades.  But regardless of our attachment styles - and thus expectations - we still can require comfort as adults.  When love in the form of comfort is [...]

Sex and Love After 50 Remain Real

Source MarvinRoaw/Pixabay When the European Court of Human Appeals issued this decision, I could not resist putting on my scientist's hat to document some of the ways in which they were so "right" to rule the way that they did.  I hope you enjoy this summary.  To read the piece, originally posted on PsychologyToday.com, click here.

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Do the Maintenance

Source: Pexels/Pixabay The sacred task of "doing the maintenance" can become a joy when accompanied by love.  It can preserve and enhance the joys and communication between people, especially when tasks are shared.  Read "52 Ways to Show I Love You:  Do the Maintenance" on Psychology—Today.com by clicking here.

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