Close Relationships

Find the Silver Lining

Source: geralt/pixabay   Life does indeed have negative experiences and too much negativity can challenge our relationships. The good news is that negative experiences can be transformed.  Consider taking a new look at moments that have nothing to do with us, times we misunderstand one another, our underlying assumptions, and ways in which we may assign blame.  To read about these examples and some ways to approach them, read my post on PsychologyToday.com's "Life, Refracted" by clicking here.

November 24th, 2017|Categories: Close Relationships, Life, Refracted, Transformation|

Addressing Conflicts Helps Love Grow

Source: amarpreet25/Pixabay Conflict between two people is inevitable. When conflicts of time and place, demands, priorities, power, planning  or how much closeness is optimal erupt, sensitive responses can build understanding and increase faith in the strength of the relationship.  To read 52 Ways to Show I Love You:  Address the Conflicts in "Life, Refracted" on PsychologyToday.com, click here.

Dinner at Home or Do We Go Out?

Source: StockSnap/Pixabay The times we live in and the roles that we play change how we share precious moments with those we love. Among those are the meals that we share. To find some thoughts about our own need to adapt and ways in which we can do it, click here to read my post from Psychology Today's "Life, Refracted" blog.

October 13th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships, Life, Refracted|

A Story of Showing Love Through Food

Randell Dodge with her Mother's Spoon   When Randell Dodge was faced with sudden deaths of those who were closest to her, she turned to baking for solace. Her story of finding comfort in creating beauty for the soul and nourishment for the body led her to change her life so that she could more easily share the love she had felt for her close ones with others.  To read more about her story, see my post on [...]

September 29th, 2017|Categories: Beauty, Family, Life, Refracted|Tags: , , , |

Silence Can Have Several Meanings

People can sensitively show love by accurately understanding the many meanings of silence.  Before they can respond with love (the topic for next week), they must be able to distinguish among silences that are active listening, time for reflection, avoiding creating distraction, an invitation to communion, attention being elsewhere, delaying confict, or expressing anger.  For details, please visit the latest, "52 Ways to Show I Love You: Identify the Meanings of Silence", by clicking here.

Providing Care is Such a Vivid Way to Show Love

Source: sathyatripodi/Pixabay When a person is dependent - young, old, ill, disabled - or fragile or simply in need of outside help, providing the care that they need can show through actions in a resounding way.  At one extreme, it reflects "Compassionate Love", that altruistic and selfless behavior in which someone else's needs can take precedence over our own.  To read "52 Ways to Show I Love You: Caring and Caregiving", click here.    

Expanding the Circle of Those you Love Can Make Love More Real

When we expand our couple's embrace to include those we love beyond it, we can bring more joy into our own hearts and those of others.  Doing so may have challenges but the efforts are always worthwhile. See what I wrote about "Expanding the Circle" on Life, Refracted, by clicking here.

Show Love by Considering a Different Point of View

When you take the time to listen to and consider a loved one's point of view, you show them respect and love.  Types of psychotherapy developed over the past fifty years have increasingly stressed the value of changing perspective.  But just as shifting how you think about something can enhance your own well-being, it can enhance understanding, appreciation, and intimacy in a love relationship.  To learn more, read "52 Ways to Show I Love You: See a Different Point of [...]

Remember the Magic of Having Fun

Think back to when you were a child.  Chances are that activities that brought you joy then still do.  I loved reading, biking, learning to cook and sew, playing with my dog, dressing up, learning the joy of riding a horse., visiting a museum.  These are activities that delight me decades later, most of which I can share with David.  One way we keep our love so alive is to make sure we include ways to have fun together.  To [...]

August 4th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships, Life, Refracted|Tags: , , |

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Provide Comfort

source: jill111-Pixabay As infants, we suffered distress to teach us to reach out for comfort.  We formed expectations for whether or not comfort would be provided consistently and with generosity of spirit.  Those expectations form the basic data for "Attachment theory", long ago validated in infants and documented in adults for decades.  But regardless of our attachment styles - and thus expectations - we still can require comfort as adults.  When love in the form of comfort is [...]

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