Show Love by Considering a Different Point of View

When you take the time to listen to and consider a loved one's point of view, you show them respect and love.  Types of psychotherapy developed over the past fifty years have increasingly stressed the value of changing perspective.  But just as shifting how you think about something can enhance your own well-being, it can enhance understanding, appreciation, and intimacy in a love relationship.  To learn more, read "52 Ways to Show I Love You: See a Different Point of [...]

2018-01-31T21:03:56+00:00August 11th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships of many kinds, Life, Refracted|

Remember the Magic of Having Fun

Think back to when you were a child.  Chances are that activities that brought you joy then still do.  I loved reading, biking, learning to cook and sew, playing with my dog, dressing up, learning the joy of riding a horse., visiting a museum.  These are activities that delight me decades later, most of which I can share with David.  One way we keep our love so alive is to make sure we include ways to have fun together.  To [...]

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Provide Comfort

source: jill111-Pixabay As infants, we suffered distress to teach us to reach out for comfort.  We formed expectations for whether or not comfort would be provided consistently and with generosity of spirit.  Those expectations form the basic data for "Attachment theory", long ago validated in infants and documented in adults for decades.  But regardless of our attachment styles - and thus expectations - we still can require comfort as adults.  When love in the form of comfort is [...]

One of Our Earliest Ways of Feeling Loved Was When We Felt Protected

Source: paulbr75/Pixabay Knowing when and how to protect someone we love — from their inner dangers, from outer threats, from the seemingly random accidents than occur — is an intuitive way to show love.  So, too, is knowing when to step back and leave room for them to care for themselves.  To read about "52 Ways to Show I Love You - Protecting" in my Life, Refracted blog, click here.

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Accepting Responsibility

and Old, Familiar Ones.... Last week, in “Recognizing Mistakes”, I introduced some ways in which a close relationship can become derailed. Misunderstandings, poor or missing communication, failures to clearly express wants and needs and to consider ways to meet them can all offer occasions to show love. Taking these opportunities a bit further, we can Accept Responsibility for a challenge within the relationship. What needs accepting? Individual responsibility — I did it! People vary in how they experience their inevitable errors, especially those [...]

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Recognizing Mistakes

Source: bykst/Pixabay According to Cardinal John Henry Newman, “To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” Hopefully, we grow not only in response to changing conditions but also in recognition of “mistakes” we have made in the past. Regrets of ways in which we may have hurt someone we love, or damaged our relationship with them, can be the most troubling. Recognizing such errors can be a big first step towards repair and showing your love. What [...]

Creating Surprises: An Excellent Way to Show Love

Source: Alexas_Fotos/Pixabay A few days ago, when I slid into the driver’s seat for the first time since the anesthetic haze following surgery had cleared, I buckled up for my debut solo excursion in nearly a month. I noticed how spotless the windshield looked. The car was immaculate. Lint and debris had disappeared from the seats and floor mats. Bottles of water sat in the spaces designed for them. Clearly my husband had intended to surprise me. I was delighted. His unexpected actions have long left me [...]

“Showing Up” Powerfully Demonstrates Your Love

Being there for performances, events, dates and times of need shows love. Source: cocoparisienne/Pixabay Woody Allen is often credited with saying “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” I don’t know what the statistics would say about the proportion of love that is expressed through “showing up” but my guess is that, in successful relationships, it is large. “Don’t tell me, show me.” “Don’t talk the talk; walk the walk.” There was even the hit song from My Fair Lady, “Show me”. What do we show up [...]

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Expressing Love Through Observing

Observation, the first task of scientific inquiry, can also express love. Source: nightowl/Pixabay With careful observation, people can identify the sources of their own happiness, meaning and joy. For example, using discernment, they can evaluate what money can and cannot buy. Yes, it can secure a good bit of comfort, beauty and freedom, providing relief, pleasure, and opportunity. But it cannot buy respect, love, trust, or creativity. While purchased pleasures can also offer distraction from intensity or relief from the grind of discipline, they can also [...]

Go to Top