Psychology

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Recognizing the Relationship

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Recognizing the Relationship Understanding and honoring the "we" transcends meeting individual needs. Source: takazart/Pixabay On February 26th, the film La La Land, nominated in 14 categories, won six Academy Awards. Musicals have always been my favorite film genre, watching dance my favorite spectator entertainment. From Busby Berkeley through Fred Astaire and Leslie Caron to Gene Kelly and now Robert Fairchild, I feel the thrills of freedom and yearning in a dancer’s movements as I watch, [...]

March 29th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Life, Refracted, Psychology|Tags: , |

A Lifelong Love of Writing

One letter at a time/Unsplash When I was a child, I was slow to speak.  Family lore had it that I ran before I was a year old but waited until I had passed my second birthday to utter a word.  At that point, sentences tumbled out of my mouth.  Maybe writing is like that for me now – so much mulled over across the years, so many ways of expression considered.  Today, convinced that my journey and [...]

March 27th, 2017|Categories: Self-Love, Well-Being, Writing|Tags: , , |

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Helping

Photo by epicioci/Pixabay This week’s topic pushed me into a careful consideration of words and their nuances. Ten days after a significant surgical repair, I was feeling profoundly grateful for all the caregiving provided by my loving husband and I wanted to write about "Caregiving" — providing help to someone who needs it. But “Caregiving” conjures up images of dependency more profound and perhaps more permanent than I wanted to address. Similarly, “Support” didn’t capture the phenomenology of need. I was indeed dependent [...]

March 20th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Life, Refracted, Well-Being|Tags: , , |

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Choosing

  Where to go? What route to take?  Photo by Antranias Every day we make countless choices, some consciously and many unconsciously.  Do we look at our motivation?  The consequences of the countless decisions that affect our relationships?  Through them, we are forever balancing closeness and distance, self-interest and that of the one whom we love.  What do we need and want?  What does the other person need and want? With the transition to parenthood, we learn to [...]

52 Ways to Show I Love You – #2, Touching

To make us more aware of all the ways we can make love real, that we can show "I Love You" both with and without words, each Sunday I am posting a piece on PsychologyToday.com describing the what, how and why of another way to express love.  Today's entry describes "Touching" and appears here.   Please send me your own stories of ways you show love or feel it coming from someone else.  I will keep track of them and [...]

January 8th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships, Psychology|Tags: , , |

52 Ways to Show I Love You, Inaugural Column

Today, I am delighted to wish you a Happy New Year.  May the year 2017 bring you excellent health, many joys, and the very brightest of discoveries.  I am also delighted to share my first column for "52 Ways to Show I Love You", written for my blog on Psychology Today, "Life, Refracted".  You can sign up to receive the column directly from Psychology Today on that page or on my own website.  If you sign up to automatically receive [...]

Blog posts missing – why and what’s coming soon!

Dear Reader, I have been neglecting this blog for weeks, ever since I began posting more scholarly or professional pieces as a regular column, “Life, Refracted”, on PsychologyToday.com.   The links to those essays appear on this website, under “Articles and Essays”.  How did this come about? In the spring of 2016, in support of Miracle at Midlife:  A Transatlantic Romance, my publicist suggested I write “10 Things About Long-Distance Love”.  Soon I realized that I had far more than ten [...]

Women Tend and Befriend, Witness the Bonobos

A sense of sisterhood runs deep.  In a recent article in the New York Times, Natalie Angier reported on female bonding in bonobos.  She described a species equal to chimpanzees in biological closeness to humans and intelligence, but radically different in social organization and mores. Bonobos are matriarchal instead of male-dominated, cooperative rather than competitive. They nurture their young rather than murder them, and they are quick to help or protect one another when need arises.  They share, rather than fight [...]

Loving the Little Girl Inside Me

French T-Shirt We took a ridiculously long time to get to know, respect and honor each other.  For years, I pushed her aside, unconsciously trying to silence her with bribes of ice cream, candy, and other high calorie sleep-inducing treats.  Sometimes I gave her chocolate when she needed enough energy to get something done. I refused to consider her worthy of legitimate claims on my attention and energy. Once the adult in me earned enough money to [...]

August 29th, 2016|Categories: Children, Development, Self-Love|Tags: , |

He Risked His Life to Prevent a Jump Off a Bridge

         A  recent local news release brought the story of Nicholas Doddo, a college student, who risked his own life to save that of another young man whom he had never seen before.  Sitting in Friday evening traffic on the Tappan Zee Bridge, Mr. Doddo had suddenly realized that someone was racing headlong to the barrier with the intent of jumping over it to his inevitable death.  Mr. Doddo’s instincts led him to leave his car, cross traffic lanes in [...]

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