Close Relationships

Expanding the Circle of Those you Love Can Make Love More Real

When we expand our couple's embrace to include those we love beyond it, we can bring more joy into our own hearts and those of others.  Doing so may have challenges but the efforts are always worthwhile. See what I wrote about "Expanding the Circle" on Life, Refracted, by clicking here.

Show Love by Considering a Different Point of View

When you take the time to listen to and consider a loved one's point of view, you show them respect and love.  Types of psychotherapy developed over the past fifty years have increasingly stressed the value of changing perspective.  But just as shifting how you think about something can enhance your own well-being, it can enhance understanding, appreciation, and intimacy in a love relationship.  To learn more, read "52 Ways to Show I Love You: See a Different Point of [...]

Remember the Magic of Having Fun

Think back to when you were a child.  Chances are that activities that brought you joy then still do.  I loved reading, biking, learning to cook and sew, playing with my dog, dressing up, learning the joy of riding a horse., visiting a museum.  These are activities that delight me decades later, most of which I can share with David.  One way we keep our love so alive is to make sure we include ways to have fun together.  To [...]

2018-01-31T21:03:56+00:00August 4th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships, Life, Refracted|Tags: , , |

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Provide Comfort

source: jill111-Pixabay As infants, we suffered distress to teach us to reach out for comfort.  We formed expectations for whether or not comfort would be provided consistently and with generosity of spirit.  Those expectations form the basic data for "Attachment theory", long ago validated in infants and documented in adults for decades.  But regardless of our attachment styles - and thus expectations - we still can require comfort as adults.  When love in the form of comfort is [...]

One of Our Earliest Ways of Feeling Loved Was When We Felt Protected

Source: paulbr75/Pixabay Knowing when and how to protect someone we love — from their inner dangers, from outer threats, from the seemingly random accidents than occur — is an intuitive way to show love.  So, too, is knowing when to step back and leave room for them to care for themselves.  To read about "52 Ways to Show I Love You - Protecting" in my Life, Refracted blog, click here.

2018-01-31T21:03:57+00:00July 14th, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships, Life, Refracted|

When Miracles Occur, Look for the Love

Source: paulbr75/Pixabay When I saw the video that I included in the post below, I felt filled with awe.  Technology can indeed be an amazing tool - but it was the love shown by the parents and staff and then by the children themselves that allowed the actual miracles to take place.  Love is most definitely real.  To read and watch the post from Life, Refracted, click here.

The Day I Took the Earlier Train I Felt Giddy with Loving David

People feel loved in different ways but showing always beats telling. Running for that train, I knew I was running to show love.  Read my post in Life, Refracted  to see how gleefully we can express love through showing it, rather than talking about it.  For 52 Ways to Show I Love You: Take an Earlier Train, click here.

2018-01-31T21:03:57+00:00June 30th, 2017|Categories: Intimacy, Life, Refracted, Marriage|

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Accepting Responsibility

and Old, Familiar Ones.... Last week, in “Recognizing Mistakes”, I introduced some ways in which a close relationship can become derailed. Misunderstandings, poor or missing communication, failures to clearly express wants and needs and to consider ways to meet them can all offer occasions to show love. Taking these opportunities a bit further, we can Accept Responsibility for a challenge within the relationship. What needs accepting? Individual responsibility — I did it! People vary in how they experience their inevitable errors, especially those [...]

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Recognizing Mistakes

Source: bykst/Pixabay According to Cardinal John Henry Newman, “To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” Hopefully, we grow not only in response to changing conditions but also in recognition of “mistakes” we have made in the past. Regrets of ways in which we may have hurt someone we love, or damaged our relationship with them, can be the most troubling. Recognizing such errors can be a big first step towards repair and showing your love. What [...]

2018-01-31T21:03:57+00:00May 1st, 2017|Categories: Aspects of Loving, Close Relationships, Life, Refracted|