Love is Real: The Blog

Blog2018-01-31T21:03:53+00:00

Show Love by Considering a Different Point of View

When you take the time to listen to and consider a loved one's point of view, you show them respect and love.  Types of psychotherapy developed over the past fifty years have increasingly stressed the value of changing perspective.  But just as shifting how you think about something can enhance your own well-being, it can enhance understanding, appreciation, and intimacy in a love relationship.  To learn more, read "52 Ways to Show I Love You: See a Different Point of [...]

Remember the Magic of Having Fun

Think back to when you were a child.  Chances are that activities that brought you joy then still do.  I loved reading, biking, learning to cook and sew, playing with my dog, dressing up, learning the joy of riding a horse., visiting a museum.  These are activities that delight me decades later, most of which I can share with David.  One way we keep our love so alive is to make sure we include ways to have fun together.  To [...]

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Provide Comfort

source: jill111-Pixabay As infants, we suffered distress to teach us to reach out for comfort.  We formed expectations for whether or not comfort would be provided consistently and with generosity of spirit.  Those expectations form the basic data for "Attachment theory", long ago validated in infants and documented in adults for decades.  But regardless of our attachment styles - and thus expectations - we still can require comfort as adults.  When love in the form of comfort is [...]

Sex and Love After 50 Remain Real

Source MarvinRoaw/Pixabay When the European Court of Human Appeals issued this decision, I could not resist putting on my scientist's hat to document some of the ways in which they were so "right" to rule the way that they did.  I hope you enjoy this summary.  To read the piece, originally posted on PsychologyToday.com, click here.

July 31st, 2017|Aging, Intimacy, Life, Refracted|

Showing Love Through Stretching

Through stretching our bodies, minds and relationships, we nourish love.  We honor the old, accommodate to the new, and let go of the unnecessary as we make space for reaching towards each other  and out into the world.  For the Life, Refracted post "Showing Love Through Stretching", continuing the series of "52 Ways to Show I Love You", click here.

Sometimes the Best Way to Show Love is to Just Pitch In

Source: AGuen/Pixabay Sometimes a person is dependent on others for whatever needs doing.  Whether a crisis, an ongoing commitment, or a one-shot opportunity, pitching in allows unique expressions of love that show, rather than tell, your love.  For more thoughts on this topic, read my Life, Refracted post on "52 Ways to Show I Love You:  Pitching In", just click here.

July 18th, 2017|Aspects of Loving, Life, Refracted, Psychology|

One of Our Earliest Ways of Feeling Loved Was When We Felt Protected

Source: paulbr75/Pixabay Knowing when and how to protect someone we love — from their inner dangers, from outer threats, from the seemingly random accidents than occur — is an intuitive way to show love.  So, too, is knowing when to step back and leave room for them to care for themselves.  To read about "52 Ways to Show I Love You - Protecting" in my Life, Refracted blog, click here.